You Make A Difference – Creative Communications Center

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That was a message I heard from Robert Fritz, the creator of Technology of Creativity and DMA, many years ago. It resonated with my soul.

When I look at the times I have compromised with my life spirit over my lifetime, they have been the times of greatest stress for me. It has felt like I’m trying to fit a square peg in a round hole or to make something right that I know deep down is not. Or to stay longer in a situation when I know the time has come to move on, whether it is personally or professionally. I have experienced both.

“A leader: one who does not compromise with their life spirit. One who will see the signs of stagnation and take action to keep the spirit alive whether it is in their personal life or their professional life, which keeps the winds of opportunity blowing so that our life spirit and our purpose for being here are one.”

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If we’re fortunate enough, we come across a book that stops us in our tracks, offers a new perspective on our lives and reminds us, as George Eliot said, “It’s never too late to become who we might have been.”

It is with great pleasure that I announce the release of my new book which does just that.

Walking the Spiritual Path With Practical Feet: Ten Visionaries Who Make A Difference is a powerful anthology with some of the people who have made a significant difference in my life. My signature phrase is “You Make A Difference” and these authors are models for me with what that phrase means. They will do the same for you by providing pearls of wisdom from a personal, business and spiritual focus and guide us toward a more fulfilling life.

Read more here: http://www.adifference.com/walking-spiritual-path.htm

Devoting the time and positive energy to learn new skills for you and your children results in Long Term Benefits for you and your children. You gain a deeper understanding of them and they of you and greater harmony and joy will result – and continue.

I will be offering a workshop on Effective Parenting , based on Dr. Thomas Gordon’s P.E.T. Parent Effectiveness Training, which I began teaching in the mid 70′s. It will help you in looking at your own behavioral style, as well as your children’s, therefore assisting you to learn new ways to interact more effectively. Different equals different; it does not equal wrong. We tend to communicate with all people (and that includes our children!) the same way and that can be up to 75% ineffective because of the different styles.

This is what will be covered:

* Listen so your kids will talk
* Talk so your kids will listen
* Resolve conflicts of needs and values in a win/win way

Read more here: http://www.adifference.com/effective-parenting.htm

Back to school. Even the words bring a lurch to my stomach as recollections of anticipation, anxiety,eagerness, shyness come to mind and heart. Whether as a student of many years or as Home/SchoolLiaison at the Richmond School in Hanover, N.H. for a decade, there was usually a combination ofthoughts and emotions I was experiencing at the beginning of each new school year. Perhaps that isso for you; undoubtedly it will be for many, if not most, of your students.

New Beginnings

New beginnings are often both exciting and scary. New hopes and new faces are sometimes cloudedwith new fears of the unknown. It is a time of vulnerability for both teachers and students; it doesn’tmatter a whole lot on which side of the desk one is sitting. Will it be a good year? Will I be liked?Will I be able to succeed?

As adults, we have better coping skills for anxiety than do most young people. The first few weeks ofschool are a very sensitive time for most students, particularly those who are new and/or those whofeel they don’t measure up to their peers. It’s a time when we as teachers, administrators or counselorshave the opportunity to match our sensitivity with theirs by showing an interest in them as people; bydrawing out the shy ones as well as encouraging the leaders of the class to lead in an inclusive ratherthan exclusive manner; to listen to verbal as well as the nonverbal messages they’re giving, for onlyabout 7% of communications is the spoken word. The rest is in tone of voice and body language.There is true magic in the words, spoken and unspoken, “I hear you. I care.”

As we begin this new year, let’s take the opportunities we have and accept the challenge of creatingan environment where our students can recognize their own potential, to find a sense of their own selfworth and self esteem that is not dependent on others, and above all to encourage them to have thecourage to be true to that which holds the highest value for each of them.

Read more articles like this here: http://www.adifference.com/articles-main.htm

The Essentials Of Coaching – A Practical Guide for Coaching Others to their Potential is specifically designed for any coach like yourself who wants a full and effective program for their clients, while still providing the freedom to incorporate your own unique style. That way you have an ADDED RESOURCE for you AND your clients to use so you can maximize the benefits of their coaching experience.

Read more here: http://www.oneononecoachingmanual.com/

Are you feeling light hearted and in high spirits during these holidays? Full of the Peace on Earth – Good Will Towards Men experiences that reflect our culture and traditions of what the holiday season is really about for us?

Or do you sometimes feel a heaviness? Perhaps from the stress of all the busyness and self-imposed-to-do lists that somehow seem accentuated? Concern over family mandatory get togethers? Maybe literally from over-eating or under-sleeping? Fill in the blanks.

Among the festivities, I use this time of year for reflection. Somehow everything seems to be in technicolor, more poignant, for me. How was this past year for me? What lessons did I learn? What am I looking toward – and anticipating – in the New Year? What opportunities are right around the corner?

It occurs to me that many of us have a heaviness, a weight to lose; weight which affects us physically, psychologically, mentally, spiritually. We think about pounds on the scales, but what about the pounds of our emotional weight – the heavy baggage we carry around with us, often buried below the surface? You know what I mean – the “could of’s”, the “should of’s”, the “wish I had’s”, the “wish I hadn’ts

Make Peace. Let it Go.

I first heard these words while attending an intensive leadership session guided by Marshall Goldsmith, one of the top International Coaches in the world; he must have said these simple words 50 times during the day. (If you ever have the chance to hear him, by the way, don’t miss it.)

These words have resonated in my head quite often since first hearing them from Marshall. They often come up when I am embroiled in an issue or getting hung up by a concern that, in the end, doesn’t really matter. Make Peace. Let it Go. I use it as a mantra, in fact, particularly during these stressful days – it becomes a gateway of sorts; these five words force me to pause which allows for a new way of considering a previously untenable situation.

Once my brain is ready, through the pause that these words allow, I am able to release my emotional weight. Here is a list of my ten favorites – to bring closure to this year with peace and bring in the New Year with joy. Choose yours. Some of these will sound familiar to those of you who have been in my classes over the years.

1) Intention and Attention. It takes at least 21 – 30 days to change a habit, studies show – and longer if it’s a deeply set pattern. But it can be done. What would help you lose your emotional weight? Make the intention and put your attention on your intention.

2) Gratitude. No matter how tough a time you may be having, there is always something for which to be grateful (even if it’s having your limbs or your voice or your mobility). Considering the plight of so many in the world, it should be easy to come up with several blessings. One of my teachers suggested keeping a ‘gratitude’ journal for 60 days and writing down the three things I had been most grateful for at the end of each day. An eye opener for me.

3) Appreciation. Where gratitude lives, appreciation isn’t far behind. Let others know what you’re grateful for; demonstrate that you appreciate them. Go beyond a perfunctory “thank you”. In my classes, I often ask people to write down 5 things others have done for them that they’ve appreciated, or that have made their day easier – a couple from home, a few from work. Often people can’t even think of 5 and for those who do, almost no one raises their hand when I ask them if they have acknowledged the person – and what they did – to make a difference for them.

To quote phrases in Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minute Manager: “Everyone is a born winner; some are disguised as losers. Don’t let their appearances fool you. Catch them doing something right.”

4) Forgiveness. Include yourself as well as others. How can we forgive others without forgiving ourselves? I recently let myself get my feelings hurt (as Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one can do so without our permission) and I delved into what I call my “lesser being feelings” – comparison, not being good enough, feeling excluded.

I carried this weight for a few days and, when it didn’t go away, I knew I wanted to do something to get myself back to peace. I wrote a letter expressing my feelings – not to blame because there was never an intention on anyone’s part to hurt – just to express my vulnerability. I was able to forgive for my own sake and for the sake of others. Make Peace. Let it Go.

5) Communication. Are there issues that need resolution? Do you have resentments you’ve been harboring over this past year, maybe longer? Get together with the other person/s and communicate with them. Speak and listen from a full heart.

G. Edward Deming, a leader in the Total Quality Management movement, has studies that indicate only 6% of people are totally miserable people who don’t get along with anyone. That leaves the other 94% of us who are just doing the best we can with the inner resources we have. And sometimes we’re not as resourceful as we might be.

According to Angeles Arrien, one of my mentors, “Say what is so when it is so”, and don’t let more than 24 –72 hours go by without doing so. And “Speak your truth without blame and judgment”. This is a great way to keep from adding emotional weight to carry around. But even if you haven’t done that within 24 – 72 hours, it’s never too late.

6) Pray or Meditate. Whether or not you believe in a higher power, focused meditation or prayer can truly be redemptive. Allowing our bodies to slow down, concentrating on our breathing, letting concerns wash away – these activities reduce stress, fatigue and, yes, emotional baggage.

Medical studies show that patients who are prayed for recover faster than those who aren’t; those who meditate improve their heart and artery health, and experience less stress and aggressive behaviors. Besides, the world needs a lot of support and help – perhaps more prayers and meditative work would encourage more healing. For ourselves as well as others.

7) Attitude. Look for the best, not the worst, in others. And yourself! Find the match, not the mismatch. Of course, honesty is important but so many of us are so hard on ourselves that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for all that is working in our lives.

My son, Chris, a chiropractor, recently told me that in his experience, a patient’s attitude makes a significant difference in their healing. That’s the impact of emotional health – a positive mental state – on physical healing.

Volunteer. One of the best ways to get rid of emotional weight is to give something to others – go beyond a charitable contribution. Despite our busy lives, giving time makes us feel lighter.
For several years, I’ve volunteered at our local Humane Society, walking dogs, (or getting in their crates to give them some TLC), playing with cats. I’ve taken an animal communication class from my Reiki teacher, Linda Carley, and, while I can always do more, I feel that I am providing comfort to the animals with their sad histories at the shelter when I am there. Every little bit of our time is a gift even when we’d like to do more.

Find a connection with a cause or purpose beyond your own. What issues move your heart? What stirs your passion? Then volunteer, however “small” your contribution may be. See how your emotional weight lessens.

9) Make a difference. My Mother was my role model for this. She felt that no day was complete if she hadn’t done something to make someone else’s life a little easier. I don’t do this every day but just bringing this thought to my consciousness helps motivate me to act upon it.

How can on
e person make a difference? You can do it in so many routine ways; it doesn’t have to be anything “big”. Recently, some dogs were brought up from Mississippi by CARA (Community Animal Rescue & Adoption, Inc). There were six of them when I saw them, after some of them had been adopted, and my first thought was to pull out my checkbook, which I did.

But then I looked at these traumatized dogs, hunkered down in the back of their crates, and wondered what else I might do to bring some joy back into their lives. With the permission and pleasure of CARA’s executive director, Jerri Bennett, I treated each of them to a big meat bone. A very little thing to do but it brightened the day for those dogs and and made a big difference for my heart.

I can make a tangible difference through my work as well. This year, I am donating 20% of all sales from my “You Make A Difference” Starfish Shop http://www.starfishgiftshop.com to the U.S. Humane Society. I’m also giving all my customers a surprise goodie bag with each purchase, plus free shipping and handling, just to say thank you.

10) Open Your Heart. Is there anyone or anything that is keeping you from loving and being compassionate from an open heart? If so, do the best you can to take the action – or intentional inaction – to bring this year to the closure that will make you feel good about yourself and others. What a way to start a new year! And then

Make Peace. Let it Go.

Wishing you a lighter and enlightened holiday season; one in which you feel calm, refreshed and full of love – for those you love, for those you find difficult to love – and for yourself.

Susan/Susie/Suz

P.S. If you’re interested, please note the Reflections below to add to your peace during this holiday season:

1) As you read the above list, are there one or two that speak to you, that you can identify with? If so, what will it take for you to make peace? Explore it more. Journal for 10-15 minutes (or longer if you want), get your mind out of the way and just write without editing. What do you discover?

2) Often the holidays are so full of stress that it’s easy to forget what we are celebrating in our own culture and traditions. What can you do to remind yourself on a daily basis what the holidays are all about? To keep stress at a minimum, peace at a maximum.

3) There are many people who are not going to have happy holidays. Is there anything you want to do to make a difference for others? What specifically? Do it! The littlest things can often make the biggest difference.

Your mind is set, the goal in your minds eye… how to get there? The openness to include someone else in this life process can be extraordinarily beneficial – you will certainly experience a sense of value from the coaching process.

Through a series of phone conferences and on-going resource support, I expertly coach people who yearn to reach their potential… to realize creative living, creative working and of course, make a difference. With this in mind, I am pleased to offer these life enhancing programs.

1. The Olympian Coaching Program
2. The Discovery Program
3. The Mastery Program
4. The Executive Program
and the new Laser Coaching Program for busy people who may not have the time but really need a coach.

Read more here: http://www.adifference.com/coaching.htm

Have you ever considered what could be truly possible for you? This program is for those who want greater results in their personal and professional lives and want to work on some specific aspect of their life, to actualize their potential. You will re/discover your vision and look at next steps in your life on how to achieve it. Your relationships will be enhanced and you will get more out of life – both personally and professionally.

Read more about this program here: http://www.adifference.com/discovery-program.htm

At the age of 15, I had a traumatic experience that rendered me speechless in front of any group (I define group as any more than 4 people). It is perhaps ironic – and a twist of fate? – that I now make my living speaking.

Change Begins

So how in the world did things begin to change for me? Well, I began to be offered people and circumstances that I believe were specifically placed there for my own learning. I don’t believe in “co-incidences”. In fact, I often call them “God-incidences”. There are many people who were and are instrumental in my personal and professional life, a life that is now full of passion for what I do, a life that is my way of making a difference.

Read the full engaging story here: http://www.adifference.com/SusanHastingsBio.htm#Personal

Have you ever had the experience of feeling misunderstood? Or misunderstanding? Of course!

A recent study of 2,000 HRD professionals cited poor communications as one of the top six problems in organizations today. Another study cited the three greatest challenges were lack of communication skills, poor attitudes, and lack of experience.So what is the common dilemma? Communications. When I do a Needs Assessment for the companies with which I work, inevitably communications emerges as the #1 problem. And that, of course, affects everything else – customer service, team building, attitudes, leadership to say nothing of morale.

Most of us know the components of good communications: listening so that others will talk, and speaking so others will listen, including when we need to confront others, and win/ win conflict resolution. They seem rather trite and familiar but knowing and doing are not necessarily the same. Let’s explore them a little more closely.

Do you know of any grammar or high school that offers listening courses? I don’t. And yet a study done by Dr. Sperry indicates that the average adult spends 45 percent of their day listening, 30 percent speaking, 16 percent reading and 9 percent writing. Developmentally that is the order that we learn these skills. And yet most schools teach directly the opposite-most time on writing, nothing on listening. Is it any wonder that there are so few good listeners? When I ask participants in my seminars how many good listeners they know, most people know one or none. Is it any wonder? Most people wait to take turns talking, not listening in any comprehensive way.

Read more on listening here: http://www.adifference.com/articles-main.htm